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The Naturists are Coming!

Thoughts that could have occurred to a resident of Thorney, where Nudefest 2016 was held. Thankfully, all the locals were friendly and seemed very happy to see us.

It’s time to pull the curtains
And it’s time to lock the doors
The Naturists are coming
With no vests on and no drawers

They’ll be frightening the horses
And disturbing all the hens
With the droopies of the women
And the danglies of the men

They say there is no sex involved
Social nudity’s platonic
I bet they’re at it ALL the time
Do they think we’re moronic?

They’ll be visiting our cider farm
And drinking cider brandy
As if they needed anything
To make them all feel randy

I hear there’ll be a tribute act
Who sings a lot like Elvis
If he removes his leather pants
His nickname won’t be “Pelvis”

I’m disgusted this is happening
In the campsite over there
And I’ll see them o’er my fence each day
If I balance on this chair!


4 thoughts on “The Naturists are Coming!

  1. Love it , very witty, I especially like the ending. Pun intended.

  2. Hahahaha. Great stuff.

  3. Nice one Simon, good for a laugh but it should be pointed out that in reality the people of Thorney could have not been more welcoming and accepting of our lifestyle.

    1. Thanks Keith, I do say that in my opening sentence. We seem to have been welcomed by most of the residents of Somerset!

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